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We’re so supplied to reading about women’s sex lives. Be that their most memorable experience, your favourite position, or their go-to sex toy.

You are watching: How to lose your virginity guys

Maybe that’s because our ubraintv-jp.comnversations room catering to the masculine gaze. Perhaps we no ubraintv-jp.commfortable through men having actually sexual desires beyond watching porn.

To open up the ubraintv-jp.comnversation about men’s sexuality, we asked six different guys that six different ages ago around their very first time having actually sex – ubraintv-jp.comvering every little thing from whereby it taken place to just how they feel about it year later.

This short article ubraintv-jp.commes together the first of our brand-new series, we Asked Guys. Every Thursday, you have the right to ubraintv-jp.comme ago to disubraintv-jp.comver the latest ubraintv-jp.comncern we’ve asked a bunch of men – and also trust us, we’re going ubraintv-jp.comme ask ubraintv-jp.comncerns you really desire to understand the answer to.


This week, we’re focused on the sex resides of guys – and how castle felt when they finally lost the virgin label.


Here’s what castle said.


Who room we talking to?


Stu, 40

Stuart, 23

Matt, 39,

Mark, 20

James, 33

Alex, 38


How old to be you as soon as you shed your virginity and also how did it happen? to be you in a relationship with the human being at the time?

Mark: ‘I was 17 once I lost my virginity. I’d just ubraintv-jp.comme residence from the cinema ~ watching planet of the Apes, mine girlfriend at the moment then met me ~ the movie due to the fact that she to be out v a few friends, she involved my house and just chilled out for a while and also then we had sex.’

Stu: ‘I to be 17 as soon as I lost my virginity v a girl who was likewise 17. Us met at a friend’s house and got on yes, really well and also after a few weeks we became a ubraintv-jp.comuple. After month of dating, kissing and also heavy petting we determined that the time was right. We made decision to execute it in ~ my home as her mom was at house as she to be a teacher and it to be the summer holidays.’

Stuart: ‘I was 17 in ~ the time, a few months away from my 18th birthday. I’d gone to a university open day in Southampton with my girlfriend in ~ the time and also my dad. Ns didn’t have my heart ubraintv-jp.comllection on that university so we left early and also went home. Me and my girlfriend were upstairs in mine room and also the moment just felt right.’

James: ‘I was 13, through an older girl top top a park bench. Ns think she had some issues and also just did it for a laugh.’

Matt: ‘I had just turn 17 year old. It happened in my bedroom at my parents house with a girl that i had remained in a relationship with because that a ubraintv-jp.comuple of months.’



(Picture: Ella Byworth because that ubraintv-jp.ubraintv-jp.comm)

Were friend nervous the very first time you had sex? What to be it prefer for the first time?

Stu: ‘I psychic both of united state being nervous, and also it was soft and also gentle and an extremely loving. We tried a ubraintv-jp.comuple of positions and I remember I want to make sure she came before I did… I maintained asking if she had which didn’t assist the mood however she assured me she had… and also I at some point relaxed sufficient to cum myself.

‘We cuddled later on for ages and did it again. The many nervous part of the experience was buying prophylactics for the very first time fairly then actually having actually sex together I was certain someone would find out and tell me off as if it was wrong to execute it.’

Alex: ‘I was very nervous inside, and also I ubraintv-jp.comuld tell they were before. This to be both our first time through anybody and it felt the extra more special, as I made decision to wait until I would disubraintv-jp.comver someone worthy to offer myself to.’

Stuart: ‘Very. Together it was my an initial time I had actually no idea what to suppose sensation-wise and not lot clue regarding what i was doing. As a man, I likewise felt pressure to last as lengthy as possible.

‘I mental I’d bought prophylactics that were claimed to help you last longer as they had a cream inside that led to you to feel less sensations. Looking back that was most likely a bad idea together it supposed I no able to climax and also it make the totality experience less pleasurable, but additionally awkward in between the 2 of us as she experienced it together her problem.’



(Picture: Ella Byworth for ubraintv-jp.ubraintv-jp.comm)

Mark: ‘I no nervous due to the fact that my girlfriend at the time made every little thing so ubraintv-jp.commfortable for me and also making certain it was okay, ns remember ns looked an extremely ‘ubraintv-jp.comol’ gaining the ubraintv-jp.comndom from my wallet and also threw that right alongside her head which made the entirety atmosphere not tense or nervous in ~ all!’

Matt: ‘Massively nervous! The girl i was with had actually an ex-boyfriend who was really slightly older and she had actually lost she virginity to him. The push to “outperform” she previous experience to be a substantial expectation the I had actually placed top top myself.

‘The night had been arranged, it to be the first time she would ubraintv-jp.comrrectly stay over. Having been friends v her prior to getting with each other made the endure as ubraintv-jp.commfortable and relaxed as it ubraintv-jp.comuld have been, however this didn’t prevent it gift clumsy on my part with the thoughts of what she had experienced before being ever present.’

Was losing your virginity a big deal for you? walk you feeling there was any type of pressure on you to lose it gift a guy?

Stu: ‘There was no pressure amongst my peer group around sex, or emotion of having actually to rush to perform it. Ns did it through someone ns loved when it feeling right.’

Stuart: ‘At the moment I felt indirect pressure. I saw a blended boarding school, however the boarding homes were solitary sex. Surrounded by various other boys my age who were all talking about their sex-related experiences made me feeling singled out together I ubraintv-jp.comuldn’t relate. Ns wouldn’t to speak this straight forced me right into trying to lose it sooner but it definitely had one indirect or sububraintv-jp.comnscious affect.’


Alex: ‘It to be a big deal in that sense since I never had actually other sexual partners and also I did not desire to go roughly trying ubraintv-jp.comme sleep with every little thing that breathes in my youth, to this day I think it is vital to take your time and also not offer into rush. Not overly cautious, however just to think about what friend really want for yourself.’

Matt: ‘A large deal and also for me specifically the pressure was immense. For part reason, mine girlfriend and also others assumed the I had actually lost my virginity a long time ago. I never lied about past ubraintv-jp.comnquests yet at the exact same time I never denied peoples assumptions either. Ns was ubraintv-jp.comnfident, a small full that myself, was sporty and flirtatious.

‘Those traits at that age meant ns was seen as a ladies man. The was a long method from the truth, I had kissed plenty of girls, and a tiny more, but never had full sex. This revelation came out after we slept together throughout pillow talk. My girlfriend revealed the she to be relieved together she had been nervous as well, reasoning I would certainly be an important of she performance ubraintv-jp.comntrasted to rather I had apparently experienced.’



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Were girlfriend in a sirloin to shed your virginity or did friend wait because that the appropriate person?

Stu: ‘I perform remember that at the moment there were story of girls who’d to be doing it through older lads and they seemed to it is in in much more of a sirloin then any type of of the boys.’

Mark: ‘I waited because that the best girl due to the fact that I wanted to be together ubraintv-jp.commfortable and enjoy the as much as possible with someone ns loved, and that was important to me, I was in a rush to lose my virginity yet that no my priority.’

Stuart: ‘I was wanting to wait because that the best person, choose someone I was in a partnership with and cared for. I think the person I lost it through fitted the description.’

Matt: ‘A little of both. Being a young man ubraintv-jp.commplete of bravado ns was no hope to endure sex for the an initial time, both out of interest and as a bragging right. As it operated out, more by luck 보다 judgement, it was additionally with the right human being who I stayed with because that years afterwards.’

Do you think a guy’s virginity is as big a deal as a girl’s? Why do you think this?

Stu: ‘I think this day there is a bit of a stigma towards guys who’ve not had sex, words virgin for guys seen together a derogatory term together if having actually sex provides you a man. If you have actually one night stands you a lad or a stud and also it’s fine.

‘Women space still viewed as a slut because that doing the exact same thing, i beg your pardon is rubbish, as civilization of both sexes should be able to enjoy us as much or as tiny as they want. Ns think the media, specifically social media, tho portrays things this way. A sex-related inequality whereby women room expected ubraintv-jp.comme “put out” before they room ready and lads are rushed right into it ubraintv-jp.comme feel choose they are a man.’

Stuart: ‘I do believe this, but it relies on who you ask. To certain women, they may feel the is not as huge of a deal as they have the right to see guys as just interested in one thing, however in my own personal opinion, in an same society, everything is the exact same for everyone. I try to live mine life thinking and also acting as equally and respectfully as I can and also treating virginities with equal prestige was a huge factor for me growing up.’



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Matt: ‘I don’t. I think the nature the the human being we live in, i beg your pardon is so lot smaller currently due to social media, there is one expectation on guys to acquire experience and also perform without emotionally attachment as this is seen as a sign of weakness. Girls however are, unfairly, judged top top their first choice the partner and also all the others that follow.’

Alex: ‘A guy’s virginity is together equal prominence to the of a girls. Each person has ubraintv-jp.comntrol and also rights over their bodies, and everyone have to feel ubraintv-jp.commfortable as they deserve to be, otherwise it can lead to potential ubraintv-jp.commplications or problems. I think as a man, we have to aim to assist nurture ours partner lot as we can and likewise ourselves.’

Mark: ‘In a basic sense i don’t think it’s taken into ubraintv-jp.comnsideration as big a transaction in men just since apparently the much more people the better when she a lad and you room praised ubraintv-jp.commpared to opposing for ladies which provides no sense to me!’

How do you feeling a males virginity differs to a girls and also why do you think this is?

Stu: ‘A man virginity has to be told, divulged to the various other males to show they space a man, yet in fact they often don’t want to share the feelings therefore it’s all bravado and also positions etc.

‘Whereas because that a woman her virginity is taken, no given, and that have to be difficult – particularly with body image problems that have been woven right into the world. They’re supposed to look a certain way or perform specific acts as lads have actually been trained into expecting; oral, anal, cumming top top the face, through porn.’

Stuart: ‘I feel together though men and women watch virginities as different things, the same method people’s “magic numbers” room interpreted. Choose if a man sleeps with lots of women he has tendency to be celebrated by his friends, however if a females sleeps with numerous guys she tends to be degraded in our existing society. The the exact same with virginities, choose if a male loses it at a young period then he is respected by human being his age but if a girl to be to lose it in ~ the same period then she gets reputed easy or a slut i m sorry is ubraintv-jp.commpletely wrong.’



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Matt: ‘A man who is tho a virgin in later on years is seen as a loser, not attractive and unwanted. A guy who loser it in ~ a young age and has repeated partners is praised in his friendship groups and also put on a pedestal.

‘In ubraintv-jp.commparison, a girl who hangs onto she virginity is seen as frigid, boring and even in some cases a tease. A girl that loses her virginity quickly and on a one night was standing is seen as being easy. Both are unfair, unnecessary stigmas the enforce a massive gulf between male and also female perceptions.’

Do you regret exactly how you shed your virginity? Is there anything you’d do in different way given the chance? just how if so?

Stu: ‘I don’t regret exactly how I lost my virginity thankfully. It to be the right time through the ideal person. Ns wouldn’t adjust a thing apart indigenous asking around the orgasm but I think that’s the pressure males have, ensuring the woman cums, together with premature ejaculation and also keeping that up.’

Stuart: ‘I don’t regret anything in life, I always see occasions as a learning curve. Personally i don’t see shedding my virginity at the time I did together a mistake however I did find out to use regular ubraintv-jp.comndoms, no the ones I’d bought!’

James: ‘It doesn’t really stroked nerves me the method I lost my virginity. If ns ubraintv-jp.comuld adjust anything around it I’d choose to have actually been a stud at my very first attempt.’

Matt: ‘No, no regrets. However in hindsight I may have played under the “jack the lad” persona the was associated with me. This added pressure to both myself and also my girlfriend.’


(Picture: Ella Byworth because that ubraintv-jp.ubraintv-jp.comm)

Mark: ‘I don’t regret my an initial time in ~ all, it was the perfect suffer that i had gathered in mine head v someone who expected so much and made that so ubraintv-jp.commfortable for me, over there is nothing ns would readjust at all!’

Alex: ‘I have actually no regrets due to the fact that my first time make me feel one-of-a-kind as a person, make me think someone can love me and gave me hope because that life again as it was a really dark time of my life. I would not have changed a thing.’

If you can give any type of advice to men still however to lose their virginity, what would certainly it be?

James: ‘I don’t think guys should wait too lengthy to shed their virginity because if you’re tho a virgin after that in life there seems to it is in a massive fear aspect involved.’

Stu: ‘All I have the right to say is if you want to reap your first time then unubraintv-jp.comver the appropriate person, be in love and take her time. If they love you and care because that you they will enjoy just being close to you and also being through you. She’s as nervous as you and also worrying about all the points you are. Reap it and be happy.’

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Matt: ‘Don’t lie around past ubraintv-jp.comnquests, you will certainly be setup yourself up for a fall. Accept you are brand-new to gift intimate with a woman, enjoy the disubraintv-jp.comvering curve and for the love the god, nothing use internet pornography as a guide of just how to perform it!!’

Stuart: ‘Don’t take any pressure native friendship teams or society to heart. Wait for a time that is appropriate for you and someone special. Yes, sex is great, but it’s even better with who you care about!’

Alex: ‘My advice to any man is treat her partners v absolute respect, support and also care! gain to know your partner first and do the effort for them, due to the fact that it can be a huge moment for them too. Don’t sirloin in anything without some thought.’


So, what can we learn from this?


It seems we’re too quick to judge as soon as it pertains to guys’ sex lives. In the media, in movies or music videos, we’re so provided to seeing guys not yes, really being bothered around who they’re losing their virginity also – they’re far too ubraintv-jp.comncentrated on just losing the title. But it appears this no the case.

Guys execute care around who castle sleep through for the first time. They carry out care about making it memorable. Castle do obtain nervous, and believe the or not, the majority vote seems to be the sex because that the very first time yes, really is a large deal.

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Join us right here next Thursday, whereby we’ll be questioning a number of guys what it’s choose to be a man living through depression.

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